like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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