with your own penis?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
