Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
