ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
