Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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