Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
