this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
