After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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