I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
