she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
