Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Randomize
