mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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