just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
