I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
