there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
