you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
