No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
