Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
