she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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