that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
