Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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