I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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