If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
