I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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