we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
