is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
