Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
where does the pee come out of this thing
vagina is talking i cant
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
