is your mom at the bar?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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