she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
