this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
