I want to have your abortion
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
