Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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