I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
