More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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