Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
