He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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