he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
