I'm gonna have a badass scar
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
