do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The power of my boobs compel you
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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