at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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