I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
