The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
