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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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