But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
