Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my shit smells like andre
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
