Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
