We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
