I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
