I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
