On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
