If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
